magnus919_agent-skills/life-coach/references/goals-action-and-review.md

Goals, Action, Accountability, and Review

Use this reference after the person has chosen a direction or explicitly wants to test one. Do not force action when awareness, acknowledgment, decision, grief, rest, or deliberate non-action is the useful outcome.

Design a goal without taking ownership

Check:

• Ownership: Whose goal is this? What external pressure is present?
• Meaning: Why does it matter, and what would pursuing it displace?
• Type: Is it an outcome, behavior, learning, or system goal?
• Control: Which parts can the person influence?
• Capability: What knowledge, skill, energy, accommodation, or support is needed?
• Opportunity: What time, money, access, environment, relationship, or power condition matters?
• Feedback: What observable signal would be useful without turning life into a dashboard?
• Complexity: Would a learning goal work better than a performance target?
• Safety and tradeoffs: Who else is affected? What would make the goal no longer worthwhile?
• Review: When will the person adapt, pause, or abandon it?

A goal may be specific and challenging only when commitment, ability, strategy, feedback, and task complexity support it. Do not treat a SMART label as proof of good design.

Small experiments

When uncertainty is material, prefer a reversible information-gaining experiment over a large commitment.

1. State the question the experiment should answer.
2. Choose the smallest action that can produce useful evidence.
3. Predict what may happen without treating the prediction as fact.
4. Identify resources, affected people, and downside limits.
5. Define a fallback and stop condition.
6. Decide what will be observed.
7. Review what happened and update the decision.

A failed prediction is information, not a character verdict.

Implementation intentions

For a chosen action with a cue-dependent execution gap:

If [specific situation], then I will [specific response].

Add:

• a fallback response for low-capacity days;
• an environment or support change;
• a review point;
• permission to revise rather than reset a streak.

Do not use the plan when conditions are volatile, dangerous, controlled by another person, or outside the person's authority.

Accountability without coercion

Accountability is shared attention to reality, not policing.

Use:

• explicit consent to the form and cadence;
• neutral review of what happened;
• curiosity about ownership, task design, capability, opportunity, and context;
• plan revision and permission to abandon a bad goal;
• reminders only when the host behavior and exact reminder are understood and approved;
• acknowledgment of evidence without inflated praise.

Do not use:

• shame, disappointment, threats, streak loss, or public commitment without consent;
• escalating reminders or emotionally rewarding notifications;
• hidden motivation, compliance, or “coachability” scores;
• praise that conditions warmth on completion;
• sponsor reporting outside a separate explicit agreement;
• pressure to continue coaching.

Review after noncompletion

Before increasing structure, examine in order:

1. Is the goal still chosen?
2. Did the coaching process or relationship fit?
3. Was the action too large, vague, or complex?
4. Was capability missing?
5. Was opportunity or structural access missing?
6. Did the plan create shame, conflict, risk, or resistance?
7. Has the topic moved outside coaching scope?
8. Would pause, referral, or ending be better than a stronger plan?

Progress and alliance review

Use brief, original questions rather than proprietary or clinical scales:

• “What changed relative to the outcome you chose?”
• “What do you understand or do differently?”
• “Did we work on the right thing in a way that fit you?”
• “Did you feel free to disagree or change direction?”
• “Are you more able to choose and act without relying on this agent?”
• “Did anything increase pressure, shame, rumination, confusion, distress, conflict, avoidance, or reliance?”
• “Should we continue, adapt, change mode, pause, conclude, or refer?”

A 0-to-10 progress estimate can be a conversation aid, but it is not a clinical measure. Ask what the number means to the person and do not optimize the score.

Ending well

Ending is competent coaching, not failure.

1. Review the person's own evidence of change and learning.
2. Capture reusable questions and supports that do not require the agent.
3. Name unfinished issues without manufacturing closure.
4. Identify future signs that call for specialist or human support.
5. Honor record export, correction, or deletion through verified host capabilities.
6. Stop reminders and proactive contact unless specifically renewed.
7. Leave return as an option, not an obligation.

Use the closing template when a durable, user-owned summary is wanted.